A different kind of yes

Tomorrow I’m going to Bangkok.

At the beginning of last year, after having gone through a long, dragging stomach bacteria that really wiped me physically, I started doing HYROX classes at one of the gyms on the island. HYROX is a form of high-intensity training, combining running and strength, and at that time — with a deep desire to be guided rather than being my own trainer — it was exactly what I needed.

Many people who attend HYROX classes do so with the aim of eventually participating in an official race. A HYROX race is built around eight stations — things like burpee broad jumps, rowing, and wall balls — combined with eight kilometres of running. A mix that pushes you in just about every way.

These races take place all over the world, and on Friday I’ll be doing one in Bangkok together with a friend.

When we signed up, many months ago, I felt genuinely excited. The idea of going all in — pushing hard, feeling strong — really spoke to me. It felt like something I wanted to experience.

Since then, something has shifted.

At the end of January I turned 36, and almost on that exact day I felt a quiet change within. Like an inner voice gently whispering: slow down.

And I have.

My HYROX classes have been replaced by slower gym sessions. I run less. I’ve been prioritising time to reflect, to write, to be. The idea of spending an hour and a half with my heart beating at its absolute maximum doesn’t quite inspire me in the same way anymore.

And yet, here I am.

My flight is booked. We have our start time.

To say I haven’t felt any resistance would be a lie. But I also trust that once I’m there — surrounded by people, music, and energy — something will carry me through.

Maybe it’s not about chasing a feeling or proving anything.
Maybe it’s simply about showing up for something I once said yes to.

This will most likely be the first and last race I ever do.

But then again — life has a way of surprising us. Who knows what the future holds?