Two months of “just” being a mother

We ran our last yoga teacher training in January, and for the past month and a half I’ve essentially been off duty.

This is the only time of the year when there is a real gap between our offerings and, maybe for the first time ever, I can say that I’ve fully embraced it.

I love my work. I’m deeply passionate about sharing the teachings of yoga — and of life — and being part of what we do. For as long as I can remember I’ve called it a vocation rather than a job. I’ve even promised myself that if it ever becomes something I simply do to pay the bills, then it’s probably time to stop.

But because it is such a big part of who I am, pressing pause hasn’t always come easily. In many ways it has defined me. And without it — who am I?

I’m not entirely sure what has changed this time around. Perhaps I’m simply maturing. Evolving. Remembering that nothing ever stays the same.

The first few days I was still “on,” taking care of admin and finishing tasks I had started but not yet completed. But then something softened, and I allowed myself to let go.

We went on a holiday with the whole family for the first time ever. And for those days, all I did was be a mother.

That isn’t a small thing — I know that very well — but allowing that part of me to take up space, without anything else competing for my attention, made it feel surprisingly simple.

Since coming home from Bali, with still weeks before anything in-person begins again (apart from a few classes here and there), I’ve been able to stay in that slower rhythm.

Fully immersed with Elsa and Nils, my darling kids. Moving slowly. Intentionally. With ease.

And I’m really enjoying it.

It feels as though my whole system has been given the chance to reset. This isn’t how I want to live forever — I love my work far too much for that — but I’m savoring this moment fully.

The rest of the year will soon fill up again. People arriving from all over the world — open, curious, ready to grow. Training after training.

But for now, in this moment, I’m staying here.

Fully present with what is.

And happily giving myself permission to be “just” a mother.